Of Monkey's Welcome

It was like any other day when I reached home after a reasonably hectic day at work. I had butta (corn) in my hand and I straight went to the kitchen requesting my maid to roast it for me. Instead of following my command, she said "Bandar (monkey)". I did not understand what she said. But she laughed and shrieked, "Bhaiya, Bandar (Brother! There's a monkey!". I turned around and saw a majestic monkey who had entered through the door's entry that was left ajar. The monkey was prowling in my house's lobby. He was a well-built ape, looking around for some food.

Now, my experience with monkeys, our so called forefathers, was not very friendly. The first one was on my trip to Jakhoo temple near Shimla. At 2455m, this temple was located on a hill that was Shimla's highest peak and a vantage point for Shimla's famous views. Walking up, as we neared the temple, I was urged to keep my spectacles in pocket, lest the monkeys attack us. In front of me, a man was helplessly braving a monkey. I took no chances, and quickly kept the specs in my pocket. After worshipping, on my way out, the unthinkable happened. A monkey attacked me. First he kept his paws on my waist. I gestured with my empty hands that I had nothing to offer to him. But he did not oblige me so easily. He kept his hind legs on my body and with a forward thrust he was on my shoulders. With his hands encircling my head and his legs perched on my shoulder, I thought my end was coming close. Soon, I thought, a horde of monkeys would attack me and I would be dragged to a deserted place and feasted by these beasts. I shouted for help. A man standing nearby mockingly replied, "Who is here to help you?" However, soon after, he had a change of heart and he wielded his lathi. The monkey recognizing his bete noire, left me much to my relief.

The second incident was even worse. More so because this time, it attacked my spouse, that too on our honeymoon. We were at Chail Palace, a heritage hotel in Himachal. The lawns had already proclaimed, "Beware of Monkeys", as though Dogs were in short supply there. So the start was not very good. But ignoring such issues, we barged in our assigned room, opened the windows, and started doing what couples do at honeymoon. But our forefathers had other ideas. A very big monkey had entered our room through the open window, and started look for food. One of the suitcases were open. The clothes soon started being thrown around. When one suitcase was rummaged, the monkey then looked for better options. I stood there helplessly watching the ape ruin my honey and my honeymoon. I then went out and the nearest habitation was a kitchen. I then called a cook who came to our rescue. The monkey was then shooed away and the windows closed. It was a close shave.

This time too, the monkey was in my house. And the maid, to avoid any untoward incident, closed the kitchen. So we were shut out of our own house. My mother was on the first floor. I went out to our lawn through the kitchen door shouting her to take protective action, whatever that could be. But all our cries went unheard as the coolers prevented our cries from reaching the first floor.

Then I again called some labour from outside who brought iron rods. When we went inside, the monkey was in the drawing room, looking for things. My mother was safe on the first floor, and oblivious to the presence of danger below. The monkey was shooed away again and my record with them was kept intact. An entity to fear with, along with other dangerous living beings like cockroaches.

enjoy,
chachu