Showing posts with label Experiences. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Experiences. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Chachu's Column #43: Chachu in Poland

[Again wishing all readers a very happy new year.]

Eager to go
At airport terminal
While I had been to Poland for short stints twice earlier, this was the first time while I was there right in the midst of peak winter season for a slightly longer stay. When I was a child, my only knowledge about this country of Poland was its capital Warsaw that we used to mug up with many other country-capitals of the world. Now many years later, I was in a city of Poland – Wroclaw – a name that I had never heard till my first visit. 

Poland and its European context
Poland had a chequered history with interspersed periods of freedom and foreign rule. Till 1918, there was no independent Polish state. The Second Polish Republic was established and existed from 1918 to 1939. However, the second world war in 1939 destroyed this Polish republic when axis power Germany and ally Russia joined hands to attack Poland from west and east respectively thereby splitting Poland. When German ambition soared and through Operation Barbarossa they attacked the mighty Russia, a full blown World War II ensued. After protracted period of war which Germany eventually lost, Russia took control over Poland and made it a satellite state (i.e. a country that is formally independent, but under heavy political and economic influence or control by another country). This situation lasted till 1989 after which it made a peaceful transition from a communist state to the capitalist system and parliamentary democracy.

Completely submerged cars
Caught in a blizzard
 So, here I was in Wroclaw, a city of a thriving and growing nation. On my arrival, temperatures were bearably cold but as my stay progressed, temperatures kept falling down. In its peak, it fell to a mind boggling -20 degree Celsius. Such low temperatures meant that even fully covered body could not handle the chilling cold. Taking out the gloves for any reason meant a sharp chilling pain in the hands. Such low temperatures meant we had to scurry for cover. This was my first stint in a city full of snow. Till now, I had seen pictures of Shimla being covered in snow. But here it was snow all around. Still, my inners, gloves and my faithful jacket were enough to protect me from such low temperatures. Multiple sweaters or jackets were never called for. Still, for nose and mouth there was still lot of problem. And more often than not, we had a running nose… 
The very low temperatures never dampened the spirit on the street. Be it day or night, -20 degress or 0 degrees, the city center was filled with students of the Wroclaw University. As there was this university right in the middle of city center and hostels and pubs all around, there was lot of youth and energy. To top it, we had a large shopping area, where vehicular entry was prohibited. So there was plenty of space to walk around.

Snow covered city and the cameraman on the prowl

Managing cities in winters required lot of efforts from the city administration. In the mornings after the snow fall, the roads were all covered with snow. And big machines used to keep running around guzzling snow and moving them aside. Even for pedestrians and cycle lanes, there were small machines that used to clear the snow. On odd days when the machines were late, we used to walk on snow to catch our bus. It was not uncommon to see the cars taking lot of time to get started. It was like the old days in our country where there was a “choke” button in ambassador cars that had to pulled to enhance fuel supply and to make the cars start. In extreme cases, I even saw people pushing cars to get it started. Poland being a developing country, there were cars smaller than Maruti 800 to gas guzzling SUVs – all forms of car were visible. The saving grace was that there were no two or three-wheelers slowing the traffic movement.

My building backyard
Since underground parking was probably very costly (more so when average size of 2 bedroom apartment was merely 600 sqft), most of the cars used to get parked out in the open. The night long snow meant that the first task in the morning was to clear the solid layer of snow stuck on the windshields. People were seen wielding plastic shovels to clear the snow from their cars. It was not uncommon to see cars disappearing under a thick blanket of snow.
Our office was four bus stops away. And the bus stop was just few minute walk away. But on very cold days, those few minutes were also very difficult. The saving grace was that the shopping mart was just 5 minutes walk from my house.

My cozy apartment
My first use of bus was mired with problems. Firstly, I was not sure if it went to my house or not. I tried to ask but no one answered – language was a big problem. Then came the more difficult part – I wanted to buy a ticket but there was no conductor. I took out lot to change from my pocket and showed to a lady. The lady kept on murmuring in local language but there was no help. Then she took out tickets from her purse and game me one. I paid her for the tickets. Then a boy on the next seat told that the ticket was for a child and that I had to buy two such tickets. I brought another one from the lady. The boy then told that you can buy ticket on bus but you need credit card. There was no conductor on bus and it was totally up to us to buy tickets and get it verified. The next morning, I was able to buy tickets from my credit card. And then in evening, I found the machine that dispensed the tickets. For the remaining part of my stay, there was no problem except on my last day. When I was returning from a mall, a man was frantically kicking the ticket vending machine. I thought his money had got stuck so he was angry. I pushed him and put a five zloty coin for a two zloty ticket. I suffered the same fate and I did not get the money or tickets. I also thought of kicking the machine!!
University in full glory

Graffiti on walls was not uncommon 
With age catching up and my paunch increasing exponentially, I started going to gym there. But on the very first day, I faced a major problem. The gym opened at 8.00am – the time for me to go to office – but I went there at 5.00am. The security guard tried explaining to me that gym was closed and that it would open later. But I did not understand. Then he wrote 8 – 22 on paper. I understood that the gym would open late. But I kept on asking for the keys and finally after being fed up, I made the entry in the register and went inside. The next day, same problem was repeated. But this time, the good guard was replaced by a bad guard Buntaji. He refused to allow me inside. I tried telling him that this problem was solved already but could not explain that I had already gone once earlier. So there was me and the guard trying to outdo each other. But then lightening struck and I showed him the register and old entry where I had entered at 5.00am. Seeing the entry, he could not do anything. He said 10 minutes. I said yes, 10 minutes running.. And the keys were with me again. Now the register is there and no one can stopped me third time. I went to gym at various times and always found the guard to be awake. Not like many many years ago when my father fell after climbing the main gate of our house - the guard at that time was peacefully sleeping. Here, the guards don’t sleep at night – at least the ones I saw – even though they are all alone in freezing temperatures. 
The lock bridge

Coming back to city, very few knew English to language remained a persistent problem. It was common to bring home water from a superstore only to find it was soda water (with gas). After staying in various alien countries including china and japan, I had realized that using the mouth was a waste of energy. So I always used signs to communicate. For haggling and bargaining, calculator came in handy. People were generally friendly and it was not uncommon to see coffee gossip sessions.
One of the many architectural landmarks

With freezing cold, there was not too much of sightseeing on offer. Yet, its architectural splendor and churches were a sight to behold. And then there were number of shopping malls and a lean season that matched my stay out there. So all weekends were spent bargain hunting for the best and cheapest stuff out there – so plenty of clothes, jackets, purses/wallets, shoes and chocolates were purchased. And even after coming back to India, the demand for more goodies never stopped coming. May be for another trip to country.

Chachu at a shopping mall
Shopping center

Churches ...

Many miniature statues that were seen on streets of Poland


Another miniature...


A landmark on a busy city crossing

And more

Churches et al.
On a bylane, in the background were spires destroyed during world war.

Chachu,
27th March, 2012
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Edited Comments on Chachu's Column Chachu's Column #42: Of Lavasa and Future Cities
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1. How are you doing? We went to Lavasa few weeks back for 2 days. We went there just for holidaying. I think bunglows there are 2nd houses of riches in mumbai or may be delhi. (Courtesy name withheld)


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Saturday, January 10, 2009

Chachu's Column #41: From Chachu’s Unwritten Diaries

[Wishing all readers a very happy new and prosperous year ahead.]

I started writing diaries when I was in college. 

Now you see, the mind is an agile entity and it is difficult to fetter it with bounds and limits. Ergo, when the narrow spheres of mind made it difficult to contain the chaos within, a diary was born – born more than 12 years ago. At that time, it was like a passion. Daily or twice daily or thrice daily. More the agitation, more the frequency. Some times it was a friend, Sometimes it was a burden. Sometimes it was lovely, Sometimes it was a pain. 

Over the years it lost its relevance. 

Marriage meant conflict of interest. What does one write I thought? The true – or the untrue. To write for one self - or to write for the day when your spouse seeks answers when she finds what is written? Truth if found could be deadly or misused. The Untrue was irrelevant and unnecessary. And needless to mention the additional burden of keeping the diary hidden – and the challenge of explaining your better half why she could peek into the deepest corners of your heart and body and yet not read your diary. Consequence was simple. Most pages of the diary were now empty and unwritten. Except may be 1 (typically the last one) and if goings are good then 2 (first one and last one). On rarest of rare occasions the third page some where hidden in the middle was written yet almost oblivious. But yes, for last twelve years, each year has its own diary (though none has been found for 2009 till now nor is the last page of 2008 filled).

Despite this consequence, you still see, the mind is an agile entity and it is difficult to fetter it with bounds and limits. What is possibly possible is to moderate it for the well-being of your family lest it goes totally out of control. So the new mantra is less thoughts and even lesser diaries.

                                                    ---- **** ----  

Till sometime back, each new year brought with it desire for new year resolutions, targets, goals and et al. Most of the goals remained unmet and those that had to be met were met. The diary, where these were jotted down, thus lost its utility. 

With time, the approach towards life is to take things as they come. 

However the agitated mind is not happy with the state of affairs. Many many time it shrieks that the life is going nowhere. It is as if we are just standing where we are, celebrating each new year in even lesser time, but nothing new to add, except the few inches gained by the kids, salaries and bank balances increased or decreased (depending upon economic conditions) and traffic (always increased despite many new flyovers) and roads (always worse then they previously were) and people (in even greater hurry to cross roads, overtake or reach the moon). 

So the agitated mind constantly demands change – change from work for more salaries, more responsibilities, better environment or simply for the sake of it; and change from residences in search of better colonies and roads and neighbours. But change of job means risk of proving again to new set of people; to forego the comfort zone in which your supervisors have been placed by you and to forego the comfort zone in which you yourself are placed and reveled and worshipped (albeit needlessly) by others. So the chosen approach is to be the frog of the well. Changing residence too means more trouble, costs and loss of leaving aged yet independent parents. So again the chosen approach is to stay put and maintain the status quo. 

Despite this modus operandi, you still see, the mind is an agile entity and it is difficult to fetter it with bounds and limits. What is possibly possible is to divert attention lest it goes totally out of control. So the new mantra is less thoughts and even lesser diaries.

                                                    ---- **** ----  

Going back to college, where diaries had better days, there were some incidences that could never be forgotten. One dates back to the day when the diary had not even came into existence. It was the first or second day of college and we were still trying to settle in our hostels. My friendly neighbour then suggested that we go to the market for some shopping, may be to buy some indoor games. Off we went and brought back a chess board worth Rupees 20. The rickshaw wallah took about the same amount of money. Now, I don’t know whether I was naïve or a fool but eventually my friend (or probably the friendly neighbour) kept the chess board while I foot the rickshaw bill. And probably that was the only day I played chess game on that board!

                                                    ---- **** ----  

May be the sharing strategy was not well defined at that time, but even many years before that, it was still not clear. There was no diary to help either. A club was formed between few teenage friends where the money collected was used to buy the cricket bat, ball, clubs, pads et al. But within months of club formation, my father asked the family to pack the bags in search of greener pastures. What would happen to our contri I thought? Promptly we went to our captains house where the stuff was kept and we picked (you may say snatched) some cricket goods commensurate with our contribution. We thought that would be the end of matter. But that was not to be. The well-built and tall captain chased us and told us categorically that it was our decision to stay and use the stuff or leave the city and forget everything. The choice was clear. The stuff was forgotten. And since then it was decided and remembered never to share costs with friends or friendly neighbour. (except for the day in hostel where the chess board and rickshaw costs were shared).

                                                    ---- **** ----  

Still in college, it was a perfect love at first sight you may say – a sweet smiling face that glowed among lesser mortals. The ever increasing CGPA suddenly found a nemesis. And the diary (probably the reason for it to be born) got lot of ammunition for thoughts. And when the matters of heart did not make any progress, one last ditch attempt was to be made, “I have to talk to you”. “Talk what?” The response to this question was well laid out. In diary. In the mind. In pages. Pages after pages. In the mind, same thought repeating again and again and again, almost infinitely. It was as if it would break the head with constant reverberation. But the answer had to be prepared and so the rehearsal was done. Pages of diaries were underlined. As though they would speak for the inner heart. May be the diary could be couriered. The mind kept on asking this question, “I have to talk to you”, “Talk what?”. And the answer was given. About love. About the greatness of love. About its purity. About commitment. Pages. Pages after Pages. Pages after Pages after Pages.

One fateful day, almost unprepared, the encounter happened. 
“I have to talk to you”. 

“Talk what?”

No response!

“Talk what?”

No response! And that was the last time any more words were exchanged. 


Chachu, 
10th January, 2009
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Edited Comments on Chachu's Column Chachu's Column #40: Boom, Gloom and Disshum
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1. Usually a big fan. The single nugget of wisdom that is usually inherent in most of your columns was missing from this one. This one was all over the place. Materialism, Excess Population, Government Bureaucracy, Economics, and Environmentalism were compressed in as many paragraphs. (Courtesy Pankaj S).

2. Very nice article, I liked it very much. (Courtesy Manisha)


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Saturday, June 14, 2008

Chachu's Column #38: Chachu at IPL

IT industry has its own way of celebrating milestones. Working late nights, fixing customer bugs, preparing reports and getting customer approval culminates in the milestones getting approved and ensuing celebrations.

The bigger is the milestone, bigger is the budget and obviously bigger the celebration. Thus, when one of the key milestones was achieved, the purse strings were loosened and party promptly ordered. And surprisingly, there was as much hurry in getting celebrations arranged as shown in many aspects of the software delivery.

The core team which was earlier involved in diverse project work was now given the single point agenda to hold gala celebrations. The options were not many. For starters, there was the plethora of weekend resorts around NCR where one could burn in the summer heat, playing cricket, table tennis and having buffet lunch. Another popular option was bowling, carting and lunch – with or without a movie thrown in. So the choices were not many. Discussions kept going on and on.


<< The project head, core team members and yours truly>>

Movie? No!

Resort? No!

IPL? No!

And then someone shouted Eureka! Eureka! Why not a live IPL visit? Rest they say is history!

But the milestone was a big one and the next IPL match was at least a week away – the celebrations had to start soon. The point was short and simple – movie and lunch for starters.

Now when it comes to movies, PVR had created a virtual monopoly. Our introduction to multiplexes was “PVR saket”, which about a decade back, happened to be the only multiplex in town. And as legend goes, the cinema hall was so far from my house that whenever I went there, I saw two or three movies and not one. This was obviously to optimize on the petrol costs. Over the years, the multiplex revolution caught up and soon there was no dearth of options. Number of movies per visit also fell down.


<< Our team that had stormed the mall and eagerly waiting for the lunch >>

The core team zeroed on the multiplexes at hand and one that was slightly away yet no less comfortable was chosen. The whole auditorium was booked and popcorns and colas soon started flowing in. While the occasion and the setting rose to the occasion, the movie Mr. Black and Mr. White was Bollywood at its worst. Even Times of India’s half-a-star rating out of five was possibly an act of sympathy. No adjectives, abuses or encomiums could encompass the beauty of the movie. The storyline was not worthy of mention; it seemed as if the single point agenda of the movie was to bore the audience till death. Someone thought it was more worthwhile to give the black, the white and the grey a slip. Promptly some of our friends left the movie hall and went around shopping. The shopping mall, with sky rocketing rentals, could only find half of its tenants. Nonetheless, the window shopping was by far a better option then indulging into the pyro-techniques of Sunil Shetty and Arshad Warsi and a few nameless and shameless beauties.

Movies, colas and corns over, the next stop was lunch at a restaurant that was famous for its tandoor delicacies. However, the booking at 3.00pm meant that the one o’clock finish of the movie still provided two hours for the gathering to break its head and mourn over what transpired for the previous three hours. The chit chat continued for two hours that eventually ended with a sumptuous lunch. Now, I am strictly a vegetarian and a teetotaler – as far my house and my family goes. At a hotel where the bills are not foot by my wallet, I am an omni-tarian and a drinker as the occasion may warrant. The on-the-house chicken tikka always attain my special attraction primarily because of their taste and the high costs when the bill is yours. Needless to say the tandoori chicken and paneer tikka were eaten with amazing alacrity. The hungry and bored crowd too had their pick and devoured whatever was on offer.

Now you see late afternoon lunches have their own set of challenges. Hungry fools eat so much (as though this was there last party) that it becomes nigh impossible to work. But these were party days and who cared of work. What if the Release 2 delivery was being celebrated when Release 3 team was still breaking its head over the requirements?


<< Red caps: supporters of Red daredevils as well as identity proof>>

With the lunch the first part of celebrations were over. But there was more and so the work could not start right away. The next part was the big one – very big one. It was the Delhi Daredevils versus Chennai Super Kings IPL match. And on the show were big names from India, Pakistan, Australia, South Africa including the likes of Virendra Sehwag, Gautam Gambhir, Glen Mcgrath, M. Ntini, M. Asif and our Indian ODI captain Mahendra Singh Dhoni. Even though it was peak summer time of May and the match was scheduled in the evening, the enthusiasm was enormous. A poll was conducted and majority of the team members gave their consent for the visit. Dress code was finalized and 4 buses promptly booked. And to top it, a red cap was given to everyone to protect from searing heat.


<< Glen Mcgrath: Aging yet agile and accurate as ever >>

As a concept, the IPL picked up when India won the T20 world cup last year. And when rival body Zee started the ICL or the Indian Cricket League under the aegis of Kapil Dev, the Indian cricket board BCCI thought it was time for action. While the ICL did not come anywhere close to the popularity of IPL, BCCI did not take any chances. To start off, they stripped Kapil Dev of his pension. The IPL was then conceptualized with Lalit Mode as the chairman that brought together two most popular themes of India: cricket and bollywood. Teams were named and auctioned (when even the players were not even chosen) and the bollywood stars were quick to gobble a few. So, you had Shahrukh picking Ganguly and his Kolkatta’s men, while Preity Zinta picked up dashing batsmen Yuvraj and his Punjabi men. The state or city loyalties were killed and anyone was allowed to pick any player (barring icons like Ganguly/Kolkatta, Tendulkar/Mumbai, Dravid/Bangalore, etc.) as long as total budget of the team did not cross about $5 million. Players, like art work, were put under the hammer, and the bollywood biggies, businessmen and mavericks including Vijaya Mallya picked up the loot. Teams brought, players brought, jerseys brought, sponsors brought, the team went out to fight, with or without the practice.



<< Core group, Senior Managers and a beleaguered spectacled gentleman named Chachu >>

On the fateful day, even though the match was supposed to start at 4.00pm, the project work did not see any sunlight. The buses were to leave at 12 and we had to be seated by about 2.00pm. The cafeteria which usually opens at 12.30 was specially opened for the IPL touring party one hour earlier. With lunch over, and official work given a slip, the buses were packed and off they went. Some of the smarter ones who were not seen in the bus, nor on their desktops doing work, had found a nice excuse to have official leave and to cool their heal at their houses. The bus journey too offered chips, juices and waters. The touring party was indeed was well served.


<< Our top boss in company t-shirt and other senior managers >

At the stadium, there were about 15 gates and long queues awaited each of them. Some of the street urchins were selling banners of 4s/6s. At the initial rate of 10Rs they came down to Re 1. While some felt happy with the bargain, few steps ahead saw various radio channels doling out banners for free. After about half an hour of wait, the gates were opened and after heavy security checks, we were allowed to get in. Once inside, some of us were offered cold drinks by our big boss because we were at the right place at right time with the right man. Others brought with their own money. The snacks and beverages inside the stadium was not on the house. When inside, the entire stadium was empty and we chose our seats. We thought it was smart to sit a few rows behind, but that proved to be a costly mistake. Soon we realized our folly because every delivery bowled led the crowd in front to standup resulting in complete blockage of cricket view. I had to use missiles of all kinds including empty plastic cans, stale and friend groundnuts, and even banners to keep the crowd seated.


<< Team members in full flow >>

Anyways, the entire touring party found their seats and friends and banners. Being on the eastern side, the sun was always on our heads. The caps, cold drinks, lemon juice (MRP of Rs 8 being sold at Rs 15) and water hardly provided any relief. Some people took to getting tattoos painted on their faces while some others went near the staircase to get some shade. Nonetheless, everyone eagerly waited for the match to start. The crowd too was pouring in thick and fast and soon the stadium was nearly full. There were no seat numbers associated with the tickets so those in minority found it very difficult to get empty seats. However, our touring party had the luxury of sitting on two or three seats.

Soon the match started and Delhi batted first. With the distance we were at, it took us considerably time to realize that the lean and thin right hander was none other than Virendra Sehwag. Thereafter, we found it more useful to see the Screens at the stadium rather than the live match itself. It was simpler and convenient, almost as good as seeing it on TV sans the commentary. With some good batting, especially by Gautam Gambhir, Delhi posted a healthy score of around 180 odd. When the match first started, every ball was cheered by the crowd as they stood up from the seats and waved their hands. The heat and the progress of the match soothed the nerves of the crowd and their standing also subsided. Now, since the game started at 4.00pm in the evening against the more common time of 8.00pm, it meant that the crowd was keener to avoid the searing heat as against watching the match. Thus, every now and then we went down to have a drink or snacks. The restrooms were surprisingly clean and usable.


<< The new and improved Feroj Shah Kotla grond >>

As the sun set, Chennai Superkings came to bat, and crowd also became more energetic. While most of them in crowd supported Delhi, those from South India had other ideas. They had painted their t-shirts and their choice of team was obvious. I was with the team that was going to win so my support oscillated with the fortunes of the team. In the last ball, Chennai won and the minority supporters had the last laugh. Soon, the red caps returned to the buses where they were ferried back to their homes. And the celebrations were over. Then we had to wait for some new milestones and another season of IPL for another bout of celebrations.

Chachu 14/06/2008
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Edited Comments on Chachu's Column #37: Of God’s own country
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
** 1 ** Received your column and as usual it was a good read. (Courtesy Soni)

** 2 ** We had amazingly good time in Kerala last October. (Courtesy Gautam Goenka)

** 3 ** Good one. (Courtesy Smita)

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Monday, July 17, 2006

Of SMS and Lottery.

We all know about lottery tickets. You buy them and hope that you become a lakhpati (millionaire) instantly. In almost all cases, you end up winning nothing. And then, in a fit of rage and disappointment, you either stop buying them or you continue to buy more in hope of better days ahead. The rare winners are then projected as smart people who conquered their financial misery through the roll of dice. The charity aspect is also thrown in with the ads showing how the lottery earnings are used for social welfare. Almost like robbing people of their meagre savings and then distributing a pittance to become a robinhood. The true smart ones realize the futility of this sophisticated loot and stop indulging.

As if lottery was not enough, we have more intelligent and subtle form of techo-savvy loot. There are SMS contests are thrown in, in almost all TV/radio shows. The objective is simple. To keep sending SMS, the very same SMS again and again. So we have a leading radio channel that gives bikes, cars and home theaters to winners. And the participant has to keep sending the same SMS again and again for a simple question till the pre-paid limit is exhausted or the post-paid connection cut because the credit limit has been overshot. The subtle details like the special SMS costing Rs. 4/- instead of the commonly understood Re 1/- are ignored. Such details are too trivial for being advertised.

The example above is not isolated instance. There are other shows where unique bids are to be sent (the lower bid wins and not the higher bid). I dont know the details but I see something fishy. Obviously there will be one winner. The winner who will get a fraction of the cost borne by the gullible participants. And the majority of the profit being cornered by the persons-in-charge.

One fine day I reported the issue to the regulator TRAI but to no avail. And then I realize that is this not just another form of lottery. The only difference is that you do not know the cost of the ticket. Or even worse, you dont even know that this is indeed a lottery. In the garb of a contest, the loot is on - that too in the broad day light .....

chachu
17-Jul-2006.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Of Monkey's Welcome

It was like any other day when I reached home after a reasonably hectic day at work. I had butta (corn) in my hand and I straight went to the kitchen requesting my maid to roast it for me. Instead of following my command, she said "Bandar (monkey)". I did not understand what she said. But she laughed and shrieked, "Bhaiya, Bandar (Brother! There's a monkey!". I turned around and saw a majestic monkey who had entered through the door's entry that was left ajar. The monkey was prowling in my house's lobby. He was a well-built ape, looking around for some food.

Now, my experience with monkeys, our so called forefathers, was not very friendly. The first one was on my trip to Jakhoo temple near Shimla. At 2455m, this temple was located on a hill that was Shimla's highest peak and a vantage point for Shimla's famous views. Walking up, as we neared the temple, I was urged to keep my spectacles in pocket, lest the monkeys attack us. In front of me, a man was helplessly braving a monkey. I took no chances, and quickly kept the specs in my pocket. After worshipping, on my way out, the unthinkable happened. A monkey attacked me. First he kept his paws on my waist. I gestured with my empty hands that I had nothing to offer to him. But he did not oblige me so easily. He kept his hind legs on my body and with a forward thrust he was on my shoulders. With his hands encircling my head and his legs perched on my shoulder, I thought my end was coming close. Soon, I thought, a horde of monkeys would attack me and I would be dragged to a deserted place and feasted by these beasts. I shouted for help. A man standing nearby mockingly replied, "Who is here to help you?" However, soon after, he had a change of heart and he wielded his lathi. The monkey recognizing his bete noire, left me much to my relief.

The second incident was even worse. More so because this time, it attacked my spouse, that too on our honeymoon. We were at Chail Palace, a heritage hotel in Himachal. The lawns had already proclaimed, "Beware of Monkeys", as though Dogs were in short supply there. So the start was not very good. But ignoring such issues, we barged in our assigned room, opened the windows, and started doing what couples do at honeymoon. But our forefathers had other ideas. A very big monkey had entered our room through the open window, and started look for food. One of the suitcases were open. The clothes soon started being thrown around. When one suitcase was rummaged, the monkey then looked for better options. I stood there helplessly watching the ape ruin my honey and my honeymoon. I then went out and the nearest habitation was a kitchen. I then called a cook who came to our rescue. The monkey was then shooed away and the windows closed. It was a close shave.

This time too, the monkey was in my house. And the maid, to avoid any untoward incident, closed the kitchen. So we were shut out of our own house. My mother was on the first floor. I went out to our lawn through the kitchen door shouting her to take protective action, whatever that could be. But all our cries went unheard as the coolers prevented our cries from reaching the first floor.

Then I again called some labour from outside who brought iron rods. When we went inside, the monkey was in the drawing room, looking for things. My mother was safe on the first floor, and oblivious to the presence of danger below. The monkey was shooed away again and my record with them was kept intact. An entity to fear with, along with other dangerous living beings like cockroaches.

enjoy,
chachu

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Chachu's Column #35: Of Have-not & Have-been Parents and their doctors

The last column triggered an overwhelming response from the readers. Most of the responses were congratulatory notes, welcoming my stepping into parenthood. Few others greeted the column that appeared in their inboxes after a long gap.

All the responses could easily be categorized into the Have-nots and the Have-been.

The Have-nots, those enjoying the fruits of celibacy, had still quite some distance to tread. The writings could only give them a vicarious experience; however, they could not appreciate the real fun involved. However, one young (and wise) lady made an interesting point. She said, "… It was really touching, especially for those who haven't gone through this stage of life yet. I could visualize everything and was overwhelmed with emotions. You are right. Paternal bond takes time but maternal bond is there even before the world knows the baby. But the irony is that men forget the pains women take. You got to remember the pains she had to go through to fill your life…" I never bore any pain. And what my spouse bore was slowly ebbing out of my memory. Her comment was a timely reminder.

This also reminded me what I felt about my parents when I was very young. I thought they had done me no favour in bringing me to this world. It was their moral duty and obligation to take good care of me. After all, I didn't ask them to bring me in. My infuriated parents remained silent to such slanderous comments and hoped that time could bring in some sense and sensibility in their self-indulgent son.

Now, however, I wonder what I would feel when my baby grows up and behaves in a similar fashion - may be even two steps ahead. Immediately, I recall all the moments spent with my baby. The first few months were especially challenging. During this time, when the biological clock understood no night or day, any moment was good enough to seek attention. The eyes remained dreary and one had to sneak outside one's bedroom to savour few moments of rest. The mosquitoes demanded a baby net. But the one I brought consumed half the bed. And so the two adults had to consume the leftovers while the baby - the prince - slept in all luxury. Then the difficult choice had to be made of whether to leave the baby unprotected or to sacrifice some comfort. The father felt it was all too demanding. What about the poor mother who went through the pain and ignominy before, during and after the childbirth?

Some Have-nots are on the verge. Their time is not too far - a year or two at the maximum. The whole idea excites them a lot, but there is also that anxiety for the pain involved.

The Have-been also have to take their steps - little steps with their little ones. Every step, every year passed, providing new lessons. A two-year old father recalls, "…Nice-n-sweet reminiscences.... Enjoyed it reading even more so since today is my daughter's second birthday ... and your column brought back similar memories and joys I had when I saw my baby for the first time. I clearly remember, when for the first time the nurse held her out to me, she winked at me - the nicest, cutest and most loveable wink a lady had ever given me. The first days after her birth, filled with a lot of joy, new experiences and anxieties. Well a great experience…"

Those who have taken five steps with their only kid still find each day a new experience. Every visit to the mall is accompanied by a demand for new toys. It is not easy to refuse. Alibis are not easy to find by. The mother says that the money is in short supply an argument that the kid is not ready to buy. And the granny, who is there only for a while, is too willing to oblige. The not-so-young baby has his wished fulfil. The bribe has done the trick, as the baby is ready to fly back with the granny.

Many have taken steps twice. And one such father laments how his son plays havoc in the life of his son's nanny. The boy is not too difficult to handle. But he is no pushover either. He will always challenge. It is in the fitness of things that he must be given his due respect. And occasionally, plaster his broken leg after a football game or nurse a forehead wounded in the game of hide-and-seek.

Some people however have a different view of things. They are outsiders, yet they play an integral part in our lives. They are doctors who influence and facilitate our lives. And one such distinguished doctor is my cousin sister Puja. And let me have the fortune of having her have the last words, …

"As a paediatrician I have watched these myriad of emotions flash across parents faces so many times it's almost difficult to count...yet each time is different. I've been on the other side from you...knowing a little too much of what's going on. We get called as paediatricians to deliveries whenever there is anticipation for a problem with the delivery so that we can resuscitate the baby if needed. And every time the experience is at once the same and at once very different.

Generally we walk into the room of a family we have never met before. Everyone looks up wondering and questioning, but not saying anything because I think to some degree they're too afraid to ask why there are even more doctors in the room than before. We get a history from the Obstetrician and staff and set up the resuscitation station. All this to the background noise of the Obstetrician coaching the mother "Push! Push! Push! Keep going! A little longer!" We keep one eye on the mother, one eye on the progress of the delivery to see how much time we have, and one eye on the baby itself - is the umbilical cord around the neck? How big does it seem the baby is? Will she get stuck? Is the baby facing the right way? And through it all there is the 'Beep... Beep... Beep…' of the baby's foetal heart monitor tracing in the background. Our own heart rates seem inversely linked to that...the baby's heart rate goes down (a sign that the baby is struggling to get oxygen) and ours goes up proportionally. Even when our concentration seems fixated on the chart or the oxygen tank etc., a part of our mind is listening for that 'Beep... Beep... Beep…' because we know that if the beeps slow down and stay down, we may have a very sick baby.

When the baby's head finally emerges, even before she is born, our assessment has begun. Every little bit matters - the fluid the baby was bathing in, which way the baby's face was pointing, where the umbilical cord was - all of these will determine how much help the baby will need. And from the moment the baby's head is visible, a voice in our head is constantly screaming to the Obstetrician "give me the baby...come on give me the baby" because we know that when a baby is really sick 20 seconds spent while the cord is being cut is 20seconds that a baby is not breathing. And finally the baby screams for the first time...and the whole room breathes a collective sigh of relief because now everything will be fine. We congratulate the family...reassure them that they have a perfect baby and we leave the room. We know that we are unlikely to ever meet the family again but for that moment we've been part of their lives in a way that few get to experience.

But of course that is the perfect scenario...when the baby is fine and everyone is happy. Having seen enough deliveries where things don't go perfectly, I'm always so grateful for every delivery where things do. I'm so very glad that in the end everything was perfect for you and your little one! And I can't wait to hear about all the wonders to come …"

Chachu 28/07/2005
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Monday, July 18, 2005

Chachu's Column #35: Of Have-not & Have-been Parents and their doctors

It has been more than six months since I wrote the last column. This column started on a fortnightly basis, with some even dispatched within a week. With changing times, the unwritten rule of writing this column was about once a month. But this time, familial demands and general lethargy saw me letting me each month pass, probably with lesser pain or agony. It hurt the first time. But then it became a habit. So when three become four or four became six, it just did not hurt any more. In the past, such interruptions were marked by reminders from well wishers, who thought it was my duty to write and reminded me of the same. But this time there were hardly any such interludes even though half of 2005 had disappeared; only recently, a friendly soul dropped a one-liner inquiring about my health and the health of this column. But then, I was to board a train to drop my spouse and new born to my mother-in-law's place. When the job was done, and I was left to ponder over the memories of what transpired in last six months, I knew it was time this column was resurrected to give the anxious souls some peace.

It was as if it was yesterday when I was pacing the aisle of the local hospital where my spouse was admitted-in the operation theatre, and where I eagerly awaited for the first cries of my baby. And as Gods had destined, there was hardly a family member around because within minutes, my brother's marriage party (baraat) had to depart for the marriage venue, and everyone was assembled there. The baraat was in full cry with band party drumming and marching ahead. But my father was anxious. How would be the baby? What if something untoward happened?

The lady doctor had promised a delivery within 10 minutes. But it was now more than sixty. All through the day, she provided my wife courage to hold on and persist. The prolonged labour pains had taken a heavy toll on my wife who was unable to bear the pain any longer. The yet to be born baby (that was to bring millions of smile to us) had became a load too heavy to bear. I was merely a mute spectator and realized why the baby belonged to the mother. For sure!

Attendants and nurses kept moving in and out of the operation theatre. I wanted to know what was happening but no help was forthcoming. Then, one of attendants obliged by saying that the labour had stopped and the patient had no energy left. I wondered at the miraculous process of how babies were born, naturally, without artificial cuts to the womb. Our doctor was famous for her ability to avoid the knife. While it was rumoured that in order to make quick money many private clinics made the patient go through the knife without a sincere attempt, this doctor was different; presumably so. The shouts of the doctor could be clearly heard outside - egging my wife to give one final push. Try once more! Try once more! Try once more!

And then it happened - the first cries of my baby. Just like they show in movies where the first cry of the baby is followed by the maid running in and yelling, "Mubarak ho, aap dada ban gaye (Congratulations, you have become a grand father)!"

The doctor's husband, who ran the hospital, saw my anxiety and took me inside where I had the first look of my baby. It was a boy. All through the pregnancy, I had surmised that I was having a baby girl. Call it premonition, but that was indeed the case. The pervasive female foeticide had meant that the doctors did not reveal the sex of the baby no matter what. My rather modern mother had promised a grand celebration for a boy. The festivities ensuing birth of a baby girl were left unstated. I always asked her, why she being a woman, favoured a boy. She could never give me a convincing answer (an answer which I later got my self). But she always confirmed that I was going to have a boy. Thus, when a boy was born, I presumed that my religious mother, through her mystical powers, had changed the sex of my baby when it was taking shape in its mother's womb.

The phones were ringing every minute, both from my mother now dancing in the baraat, and my mother-in-law, enquiring about the status. And when the much-awaited news was divulged, the marriage bands only grew louder. Currency notes were doled out without much thought. And the news of a grandson meant my mother's joy knew no bounds. Even the gold ornaments were not spared and some beneficiaries became instantly richer by few tolas of the shining metal.

In the mean while, I was taken by the doctors for the first look. The baby was soaked in blood and was being cleaned. The very first look was one of disbelief; I was trying to establish the link. The mother had a natural connection; but what about the father? I tried to tell myself that it was my child - but the paternal bond required more time. Soon, I was handed over the child to be taken to the room for the mother and the child. The baby had a slightly elongated head and I wondered whether everything was alright. But there was nothing to worry. Soon, a tired yet relieved mother joined and the family was complete.

While the marriage party continued, I only gave a brief appearance where congratulations rained from all quarters. And before people realized, I was back with my family. And within 24 hours, after a short and simple sojourn at the hospital, we were back in the confines of our house.

To start with, I was very apprehensive about my baby. I feared that an untidy hand could make my baby sick. Thus, I did all I could to prevent people from touching him. I even did not go to office for two weeks just to ensure that the first fortnight, I was there when the child and the mother needed me most. Then there was the Jalwa function (celebration of birth of baby!) where everyone got a chance to cuddle my baby. I wanted to prevent it, but I was helpless. Nothing happened though.

Slowly, my wife regained strength. It seemed that childbirth took all energies from the mother's body. But there was gradual recovery.

I also learnt many many things. I learnt that it was not as bad as it seemed because kids however delicate had their own immunity. I also learnt how God naturally provided mother's milk for the baby. How the cries of the baby resulted in natural flow of mother's milk. How some kids had their mother's milk till the age of six, while some did not know or like the milk at all. I learnt how the babies did not have their skull joined to start with and how the gap closed with the passage of time. How babies could not hold their neck or even their back till quite some time. Every few weeks there was a new learning - the problem of jaundice or the routine vaccination.

Some of us have already gone through this while others will go through this. Each baby brings his share of joys. Mine brought too. One may ask how was my first experience. I would say that the birth of my princely baby 'Raj' was not an experience. It was the beginning of a life time of experiences - the latest of them being his ability to get up if you hold his hands slightly and pull it gently. His ability to apply force and get up is indeed a sight. Or for that matter seeing him hold a toy in his hand for a minute or two. Simple things but a treat to watch - so pure, so innocent ...

Chachu 18/07/2005

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